Sermon “Following the Path of your Spirit”

The Rev. Rali Weaver

Yesterday a small contingent of us went to the Common Ground fair. The Common ground Fair is the Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association Fair that is held every year in Unity, Maine.

In this day and age of technology it is a unique and unusual experience to stand in a field in Unity Maine with thousands of other people learning about organic farming and conservation living and viewing the wares of the farmers. Among all the other activities at the Common Ground Fair it is difficult not to also people watch. One of my favorite parts of the fair is watching all of the wonderful ways that people choose to express themselves in the way they dress.

What I started wondering while I watched is what makes one person express themselves in one way and another express themselves in another.

Having attended the fair over a period of years myself, and having worn a wide variety of garb-- I also pondered what had changed for me that I would show up in something as staid as jeans and a sweater.

How we do or do not live in a full expression of our sense of self and how we change that expression over time or how that expression is changed for us -are all things I would like us to ponder today.

A similar question was raised for me last week when we had the drumming workshop. I noticed that while everyone was drumming the adults in the room were less likely to add their own beat. In fact it seemed almost to correlate with age – the older a person was the quieter their sound and the less exuberant.

While I believe that all who attended felt their spirits lift and enjoyed the drumming and subsequent Samba party, many of the adults, me included, remarked feeling clumsy or out of place. While I observed --the children drummed and danced with abandon. In fact the younger the child was the less likely they seemed to be stymied by expectations of greatness and the more likely they were to dance or drum whatever feeling was in their hearts.

Why is that?

Why is it that children can take risks that adults find difficult?

While some children might naturally be more outgoing than another, most of them are willing to try things that we adults, from our experience are more reluctant to try.

For instance we have the children come forward every week and sit in front pew of the church. I don’t see many of you sitting in the front pew of the church.

Of course that could be because you don’t like the front pew or it could be because you don’t really want to be seen.

Staying at the back of the church might help you to feel safer. Nobody can see if you are singing or not singing when you are sitting at the back of the church. Nobody can tell if you stand up at the appropriate moment or stay seated.

Staying at the back keeps you from making mistakes in the open.

Staying in the back feels safe.

I know because I used to sit in the back pews myself.

But in what ways do we stay in the back with our whole lives?

In what ways do we keep our spirits on the back shelf, and not allow ourselves to open fully to life?

A Powell Davies the minister of All Souls in Washington DC once wrote that “Life is just a chance to grow a soul”.

But what is a soul and how do we grow it?

As I chose the title for today’s sermon I wondered should I call this sermon “Following our soul’s path” or call it “Following the path of our spirit” I chose the latter of course, because I am not sure we would all agree that we each have a soul I think we might be able to agree that we each have our own spirit- a spirit that is uniquely and undeniably ours.

We can talk of our spirits being tired, or weak, or uplifted. We can talk of a feeling of being spirited or spiritless.

I hope a big reason that we come to church on Sunday is to care for our spirit. We come to this place to calm our spirits or lift or spirits or even enliven our spirits.

In these terms a spirit is a malleable thing. Something you can shift and adjust by your perspective or by changes in your environment.

But I think that there are some parts of our spirit that we are born with and that are more difficult to change. And this religion often calls the soul. And it is this thing that A. Powell Davies suggests we have an opportunity to grow in our lives.

But for our purposes today I am also going to refer to it as our original spirit. It is the thing you see in a baby’s eyes when they are born and the energy you see emerge as they learn to play. It is the ground or foundation that makes each person special.

You might call it your soul, or your personality or your sense of self or your ego. Whatever you call it, it is the thing you were before you were born and the thing you will return to when you die.

It is that thing at the individual core that I believe young people are often trying to express with their clothing, and expressing with their drumbeats. Oftentimes I believe we see young people dying their hair or piercing their bodies in an attempt to show who they really are. And sometimes we also see young people who go out of their way to choose clothing to match the expectations of their peers and conform to the criteria that is set by others.

In my case I would wear converse high tops with long skirts and funky earrings to show my originality. As a young person I believed clothes should have a sense of humor because in some sub conscious ways I wanted everyone to see my sense of humor on first meeting me.

However as time has gone on and I have grown older, I have both felt less and less that I need external props to express what in my nature I naturally am, and at the same time feel less and less likely to want to stand out in that way.

How much is our conformity a natural way of getting along and how much of it is a stifling of our self-expression?

Having grown up with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, I know first hand the need to learn ways to manage my spirit in order to communicate more effectively.

Having ADHD -I by nature have trouble sitting still and want to change the topic all time. But having lived in this body for 43 years, I have learned that at times my distractibility and tendency to change the subject can be disconcerting to others. So Even though my spirit feels more comfortable in that distracted and hyperactive state, out of a desire to be heard I have naturally learned to modify my presentation so that I can be more presentable and more accepted and have an easier time communicating.

I like to think that is the same thing I have done with my clothing. When I was young I thought that how I dressed should be an expression of who I think I am. But as time has gone on I learned how important it is to dress in ways that aren’t off putting to others. For instance even though I feel more comfortable in jeans and t-shirts and sneakers, as your minister I dress as a minister on Sunday.

I believe we all do this in some way or another. Measure our original spirit against the needs of the situation and conform in ways that are healthy and appropriate.

But as I have completed my first full year as your minister I have begun to wonder how much of our behavior and way of being together is healthy and how much of it stifles a true expression of our spirit.

I hope these are all questions we ask ourselves each day.

How am I living in right relationship to my spirit? How am I missing the mark?

I know that in my heart I am a person who has always felt like she swam against the tide in some way but if I am truthful I also know that I am more and more cautious about standing out and I carefully hide away parts of my spirit that are unique to me, in an effort to fit in.

Expressing our full selves requires a sense of safety. We need to know we will not be criticized or judged if we get out of rhythm with the rest of the group.

Feeling safe is a big part of being able to risk exposing your essential nature.

It would be nice to think that coming to church would be one of the safest places you could go. But I know that even at church there are obstacles to expressing ourselves fully. And changing that culture must start with creating a safe place. And part of that requires that we dispense with our criticisms in this place and our judgments not only of others but also and most especially of ourselves. This does not mean we are not critiquing what we do but only that we don’t personalize or judge. Holding up high standards, or expectations is healthy and appropriate. Expecting some level of conformity in a community is natural. But finding ways to do that which allow each individual to express their own sense of self, and do it in their own unique way is a vitally important step in respecting the inherent worth and dignity of every person.

Over the last few weeks I have been going to the gym more regularly. Last week I met with a personal trainer. She took me through and showed me all the equipment and how to use it. But she also kept encouraging me. As she showed me the weight machines she told me that I was lifting above average. Finding me on the recumbent bicycle she remarked at how fast and far I had gone in a few minutes. And as I left the gym she said, “Great Workout”.

Now some of what I newly like about going to work out has to do with the endorphins I get as I exercise, and how much better I feel. But a big part of what has helped me overcome the hurdle of going to the gym is the way my trainer encourages me.

I believe that one way we can change the culture to make this a safer place is to encourage each other in our self-expression. Really listening and complementing growth are ways we can liberate others to keep trying.

This is one reason why; while I am the minister of this church I won’t encourage the blocking off the back pews. While I think you might hear better and feel more a part of the service if you sat closer to the front and while it might be wonderful to see us more as a community each Sunday, sitting together, And while I think It might be good to open up the back pews for potential new members who might not feel so comfortable sitting up front. I believe one hundred percent in your ability to sit in the back of the church. However whenever someone does takes the risk of sitting in the front I am going to start acknowledging it. In the same way my trainer recognizes how hard it is for me to come to the gym in some small quiet way I am going recognize the risk it takes to sit down front.

Finding ways we can encourage people to take risks and live more fully is an important part of creating a safe space in our church.

Finally I want say that in order to follow more fully the path of our spirit we need to acknowledge where we are asleep as well as staying awake to the uncomfortable parts of our spirit and how it might affect others.

This summer when I was away I realized that the thing that I am missing after quieting the expression of my ADHD nature, is the rush of fire and passion I used to feel. While I don’t want to go back to the chaos I often felt, part of what I am seeking this year is more fire in my life. I hope the first step is simply acknowledging what I think is missing. The second comes from thinking of all the wide variety of ways to reintroduce that fire in my life. I can eat more spicy food; I can try to preach more fiery spirit filled sermons. I can read more books and take more trips a dance around the house and stay open to new ways to liberate my hidden sense of self.

I hope you will go with me on this journey. I hope that you will awaken to the hidden parts of your spirit and work this year on liberating it and living more fully. And I hope that together we can create a safe space in this church for hearts and minds to open.

Life is truly a long journey in growing our original spirit. May we each find strength for that journey and success at the last.

May it be so.